I Could Be Wrong

    I have never quite gotten the New Years Eve celebration.  When I was younger, I thought the holiday was about glamorous outings with terrific Prince Charmings I would meet before midnight – never quite found out how to get me some of those.  When I was a bit older, we would get dressed up and go out to clubs, and I would watch the glamorous hilarity folks tried to generate.  Friends with dates ranged from mildly amused to bored, and friends without dates seemed either desperate or lonely and sad. And of course, drunk. Everyone looked nice, and the food was good, but again, I never quite got it. What exactly am I supposed to do on this holiday?  What is it about?
    I will share that the jig was close to up for me the year I heard Dick Clark going on about the incredible excitement building in the crowd over the turning of a new decade. 1990. Wahoo!
    Like I said, the jig was pretty much up for me on the whole New Years thing by then.
    In more recent years, my older, more cantankerous self (yes, I used to be chirpy), has viewed this holiday with a Grinch-like demeanor. I like champagne, but why the boozorama?  It strikes me now that  New Years is nothing more than the Winter Solstice celebration with a liquor license.  
    Winter Solstice? Wait a minute. I know that one.  Soul searching, leaving behind outdated dreams, a re-commitment to the light – being part of the light – dreaming of what can be in our lives, believing in our lives.  All powerful, meaningful stuff. Maybe scary stuff?  Sometimes.  Could it be that the enforced hilarity and ball gowns are all about making sure we are anesthetized enough to not feel that scary or sad stuff?  Maybe we don’t dare ask ourselves what we value most, lest we face the fear of not living up to it.
    I think there is great beauty in the turning of our lives.  I think the act of deciding what we value and committing to it, trying that out, succeeding or not, trying again, junking what doesn’t work, and doing it all again is the sacred walk of life.  Sometimes scary yes, but we do it in the company of friends and belovedes, and in the presence of great Grace.
    And it can be a kick.
    I will offer you this activity to try for the New Year. I believe it is meant to be done around midnight, but I am fairly sure I will be in bed by then, so I will be doing it around 10 tonight. (btw, my life as the mother of a small child has taught me that the sky will not fall if you do this or any other self development exercise at a time that your family life supports so don’t feel wedded to the timing of it all.)  The activity was inspired in me by the writings of Jan Lundy.  She calls it naming your journey and surprise, I added to it.  Here it is:

    Sit.
    Breathe.
    Allow your mind to wander back over your year.
    Wait. Listen.
    Allow a word to bubble up from inside you, a word that describes your journey through 2011. Then, when you are ready, NAME your journey.
    Allow yourself to reflect on the word that arose in you and how it defines the passing year.  What memories and experiences come to mind?  Allow yourself to be with this for a few moments, maybe journal a bit, and then release the thoughts.
    Again, sit.
    Breathe.
    Ask yourself, “What do I value most?”
    Breathe easy.
    Wait. Listen.
    Allow a word to bubble up from inside you. When you are ready, NAME it.
    Allow your mind to float with the word.
    Write down images or thoughts that might arise. And write down the word.

    Only 365 days until this one comes around again.  See what happens.
    Blessed be.